Welcome to WRPG broadcasting to you in syndication from the heartland. We are your first, last and only reliable source for concise and accurate news. Our reporters go to the edge of the globe to report the truth.
Thank you for tuning in to our brand new, first commercial free broadcast of An Evening with Ima Gossip. Guest appearances will range from all over the known galaxy and an alternate dimension or two.
- On the set the audience applauds as cameras pan over and around them. The back walls of the stage slide apart and a blonde woman appears wearing a fuchsia colored top with black slacks. Waving to the crowd, with a cheerful and excited smile, she steps down to the two seats set up in the center of the stage.
“Good evening everyone,” Her voice crosses the crowd with a buoyant southern accent. “I am yours truly and welcome to our first show of An Evening with Ima Gossip… Over the course of this show, so long as the ratings hold out… I will be interviewing some of the most in-demand and hottest non-celebrities in the world.”
As the audience applauds, she fervently waves her hands to shush them. “Now, when I say non-celebrities, I mean that these are people who are celebrities in their own rights. They are well known in their fields of expertise, accomplished in their professions, and have followings comparable to any man or woman on the silver screen.
The audience goes wild, some chant, some holler for their idols, and a whistle cracks the air among them. Ima again waves her hands around trying to settle them to a calm state. “I want you to know that we have crossed the boundaries or space, time, and in some cases, alternate dimensions to bring you these interviews… Our first guest tonight, is a very talented young man. He is researcher at The Consortium of Psionic Research and Academics… And yes ladies,” Her smile turned coy and flirtatious. “I am told he is very much single and unattached… Joining us from New York, please welcome to the stage Melvin Draudy also known as Putty.”
The audience stood in ovation as the stage doors opened again.
Putty walks out on to the stage and walks over to Ima. "Hey! You're Ima Gossip! Are you here for the free ice cream too? I can't wait to see the poor sap you sucker into going on to your first show. You'd have to be a real idiot to...fall...for..." Putty turns his head slowly and notices the cameras, stage, and the chairs. "Ummm.... yeah, I guess we should get started."
Ima laughed joyfully as they sat down. “Yes, we do have ice cream for after the show to celebrate…” She looked to her notes discretely resting on her lap. “Let me first ask how long have you been with the Consortium?”
"Oh, I've been there for years," Putty said. "I came there when I was only 13, but I only recently was made a field agent. It was a combination of my own insecurities and a couple of instructors who discouraged my applying to be tested which kept me from progressing."
“Oh dear, so the academic program is extremely challenging… Obviously you overcame those obstacles, you are after all sitting here as a well known persona. What would you say is your greatest asset; that one aspect of your personality that helped you to overcome the obstacles?”
Several snickers came from the audience followed by catcalls and a whistle.
"You can flex around me any time!" A brunette in the front row shouted, batting her eyelashes she stuck her chest out.
Blushing, Ima coughed as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. She composed herself to ignore the comment. “Let’s talk about how things began for you… How old were you when your abilities first manifested and what was the experience like?"
"I was just ten years old when it happened," Putty began. "Like in most cases of early discovery, it's an especially traumatic event which brings the power out. My mother was driving through an intersection when an 18 wheeler ran the red light and without slowing down, smashed into the back of our station wagon. My mother was injured, but the back section was completely crushed and I should have been killed. Instead, my body flexed and bent I was merely stuck, though they had assumed I was dead. When the rescue workers finally got to me, one of them commented 'I don't see any broken bones. It looks like he's a piece of putty." Of course, when I pulled myself out, they were even more shocked. At first, I couldn't stretch myself but as the years progressed, I learned to use my power more and more and now I can perform feats impossible for anyone else." At this point, Putty shifted his face to be a near duplicate of Ima's.
“That is quite a talent.” She laughed humorously. Relaxing back in her seat, she set her notes aside, deciding to follow the course of the conversation instead of steering it. “I do hope your mother was all right. Speaking of your family, it’s my understanding that some people face aversion from their relatives. How has your family reacted, are they supportive, do you have siblings with abilities?”
"Nope, just me," Putty said sadly. "My mother survived the accident but died a few years later from cancer. My parents got divorced when I was 7 and my father hasn't seen me since then. I have no brothers or sisters and my extended family just thinks the whole thing is weird. The Consortium has been my only family for a long time."
“And what is it like working with others who have psionic talents?”
"It's interesting to say the least. It's amazing what we can get done when we use our abilities together. We can do more then we possible could do apart. Unfortunately there are a few who think my power is frivolous. They see it as not being on par with some of the elemental powers. Of course, when the bullets start flying, they always want me to go out first."
“Well then I suppose they just don’t know you,” Ima began to fee like she was grasping for questions. She was certain her demeanor carried that through. “Would you say there are certain co-workers you prefer to work with and others you’d rather not?”
"Oh, talk about a loaded question!" Putty blurted out. The audience chuckled. "I tend to think I get along with most of the psionics but there are several normal humans who I won't name who I can't stand dealing with. There is always a little dislike of psionics by some people and they tend to show it more towards me than most. I can't burn them or read their minds so they don't feel the need to hide how they feel."
Ima paused with thought as she considered his comments. She had been warned to tread carefully with the interviews. Still, the questions were burning inside her. “How does that make you feel? Do you feel cheated, or robbed by evolution?”
"Cheated? Are you freaking kidding?" Putty laughed so hard he almost fell on the ground. "These powers are incredible and I love being able to do what I can. I can't help it if people are bigots. No, I don't feel cheated, not one bit."
Ima found herself admiring his candor; she liked him and was glad he was the first interview. “Which brings us to the ultimate question, how would you describe the intensity of the education and training programs for students at the Consortium?”
"It was very intense but I guess that's needed to make sure we're ready. The teachers were, for the most part, very good at knowing when they were pushing too hard. They wanted us to succeed and pushed us as hard as we could take. I also appreciated that they made sure we had a place after the training was over, even for those who were not bound for field duty."
"What about a college education, I understand they offer many degree programs such as your typical college or university."
"Yes, they do offer many degrees, but not all of them are available in your typical college. I received a degree in criminal justice with a minor in extraordinary biology."
"What's extraordinary biology?" Ima asked.
"Well, it's the study of how psionics can do what they can, at least in a biological sense. Think of a giraffe. It needs a tremendous heart to be able to fight gravity and pump blood to its head," Putty stood up from his chair. He stretched his body as high as it could go on the stage. Some members of the audience gasped. "Now by any normal understanding of anatomy, I should pass out by doing this, yet here I am." He pulled his body back. "It turns out there's lots of adaptations going on. My blood is actually elastic too. It gets thinker or thinner depending on what my body is doing. Also, my arteries and veins bend and flex to push the blood along. It all works together to enable me to do what's impossible for anyone else."
“Absolutely fascinating,” Hearing a chirp, she placed her hand to her ear and listened to her stage manager. She nodded to acknowledge him before looking to Putty. “I’d like to use this opportunity to move into our audience segment. Before the show my producers polled the audience for questions they’d like answered.” Picking up her cards she sifted through them. “Sam of Wauchula,” She looked up to search the audience.
A young man’s hand went up and a stage hand approached him. The microphone was passed as he stood. “Yes, thank you Ima, Mr. Draudy, I was wondering, with the physical demands these abilities require does it hurt at all when you use them?”
"No, not when I use them as far as I can. I my body can stretch even further than I can willingly go at that point it can hurt."
"Do you feel anything at all?" Ima asked.
"Well, yeah, even when I'm pushed by outside forces, it just doesn't usually hurt," Putty answered. "Take your finger and poke yourself in the cheek. It doesn't hurt, but you do feel it happening. It's like that, only all over for me."
Ima looked to her notes again. “Emma from Portland has a question.”
An adorable little girl wearing a petal pink dress, in the front row jumped up to stand on her chair. When the stage hand approached her and knelt, putting the microphone close to her she spoke shyly. “What was the funniest moment in your life?”
Putty chuckled. "Oh there's so many of them, I don't know which one to go with." He thought for a few seconds. "Well, let me tell you about a really funny event in my life last year. I single handedly beat the NY Yankees in a baseball game."
The crowd murmured and Ima had a surprised look on her face. "I've never heard about this before." She looked to her producer who shuffled through his research about Putty and shook his head at her.
"Oh, you wouldn't. It was an exhibition game for charity and after the loss, the Yankee management put a gag order on the press who covered the event and blocked the story. They made it clear they would deny it ever took place, and it's my word against theirs but I'll tell it like it happened and you can believe me if you want."
Putty stood up as he began to weave his tale. "Now, when I said single handedly, I didn't mean I was the only player, but in the end, my contribution was the winning factor in the game. It was set up as a friendly game between members of the Consortium and the NY Yankees, the money going to various charities. The Yankee management made it clear they didn't want any super strong or super fast psionics playing and it was 'understood' that we'd lose, but they didn't count on me."
"I'm guessing your power let you spin around and hit the ball harder than anyone else," Ima commented.
"Actually, I didn't hit the ball once," Putty smiled so hard, his face stretched out. "Emma," he said addressing the girl who had asked the question, "Do you know what a 'strike zone' is?" The little girl responded by shaking her head. "Well, it's the area between your knees and about halfway up your chest. In baseball, if a ball is pitched in this area and the batter doesn't hit it, it's a strike. If the pitcher can't pitch in it, it's a ball and if you get four balls, you automatically go to first base." Putty stretched his knees up while contracting his chest so that his knees were practically in his armpits. The audience erupted into laughter when they understood what he had done. "Now, right now, my strike zone is smaller than a baseball, so every time I made it to bat, I was automatically walked."
Ima smiled and spoke. "That's very clever, but that would only get you to first. How did you score a run?"
Putty cocked his head to the side slightly. "Ima, I just stole bases all the way to home!" He stretched his legs as far as they could go. The audience laughed even harder this time. "They couldn't ever tag me out because as long as my leg was touching a base I was safe. Nobody thought to write rule that said you couldn't touch two bases at the same time!"
"How'd you stop the Yankees from scoring?" someone shouted from the audience.
"Oh, they kept hitting balls that should have been home runs off of our pitcher, but..." Putty stretched his arm and body high in the air, "I kept catching them!" The audience broke out into spontaneous applause.
Ima was thoroughly enjoying the interview, laughing and smiling through his story. She drew a serious face as her producer spoke into her ear. She was sly about acknowledging him with a nod. “Well Mr. Draudy, as enjoyable as this time has been, I’ve just been told that we have run out of time.” She set her cards aside and adjusted herself in her chair. “I want to thank you so much for taking time out of your obviously busy schedule to be our first guest… This has been a very enjoyable time and I personally hope we can ask you back for a future visit.”
"It's been a pleasure," Putty said, shaking Ima's hand. "Now...about that ice cream..."
The lights on the set went down as the cameras turned off.
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